About four years ago, I had a horrible flight on Delta Airlines. Apparently, the pilot thought it was a great idea to fly over a tornado in Kentucky—and we almost died…literally.
Although I survived the incident, I continue to get very anxious when riding in a plane. Because my ego gets the best of me, I tend not to let it show on the outside—but on the inside—I’m a mess… :(
Which brings me to the point of today’s blog…
I believe that people (in general) can be annoying. Since my last flight, I’ve developed a theory: Annoying behaviors are magnified at higher altitudes.
Personally, I think the stress of wondering if you’ll make it to your destination in one piece is enough to occupy your time; Unfortunately, I have found that there a several “flying types” that drive you crazy enough to contemplate jumping off the plane without using your seat as a floatation device.
I have come up with a few “types” that I’ve identified:
Sneaky Rabbits- You’ve seen them before. They’re the ones who try to put their cell phones on silent—rather than shutting them off. They close the top of their laptops until the flight attendant passes their row…they go in the storage compartments while the
“seat belt” sign is still lit. Ughhhh!!!!
Jabba Jaws- Stevie Wonder can see that you’re sleepy, but this person can’t take the hint. So, with one blood shot eye and a pillow over your head…you listen to why they’re flying to wherever they’re going and what they do for a living; Silently, as you pray for your safety—you pray for all those who will be subject to this passenger’s mouth when they land…God Bless America...
Boss Hog- These people have the middle seat and feel entitled to use both arm rests. This forces one passenger (usually me) to remain smashed against the very window they’re afraid of falling out of throughout the entire flight. Or, it forces the aisle passenger to turn sideways in the aisle—so the flight attendants can run over their toes with those damn drink caddys. SHARE ALREADY!!
I could go on and on, but I realize that I’m on "the edge" from the moment I purchase my tickets online.
Happy Holidays….(one down and one to go!)
Monday, November 27, 2006
Something Special In the Air…
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
I am annoying at sea level, but I am rather pleasant in an airplane. I'll be the one asleep next to you with my mouth hanging wide open.
Just when I was going to nag you to put up a new post!
I haven't spent much time flying. Last time I did my son was about 5 years old. (He's 27 now.) We were on a puddle jumper to Chicago to catch a longer flight to Tampa.
Son was looking over and under our seats and I finally asked him why. He said he was looking for the parachutes.
He turned white as a ghost when I told him there weren't any.
Nice post and site. I especially don't like the boss hog. I've never run into the cell phone one. This would definitely piss me off. I also don't like being next to someone with B.O.
My last flight I shared with a small dog (not mine) that yapped the whole flight. I wanted to strangle the thing.
I'm a therapist too. I'm working on "curing" a kid's fear of flying. We are making headway. Good luck with yours.
I've never been on a plane so I can't share your misery. I don't really plan on flying either. I have had so much fun taking trips in my car. Plus, I know who is next to me(Skittles) and she makes a good travel partner.
Uh oh mist...tell me you're not a "snoraholic"??!! LOL...I'd love riding next to you...I'd steal your peanuts!
Skit...your son was on to something!! Parachutes!! Why didn't I think of that?? The next president I vote for better cover that on his platform! :)
Sarala...
You're right...the only thing worse than people in the air would be pets in the air...(unless of course it's mine...) Did I mention that I'm in love with a yorkie...? (that was a shout-out to the fire-breathing Dragon)
Mike...you're a smart guy. You've managed to cut-off Talk America AND eliminate the need for air travel!! I like smell of "proactive"...you wear it well!
You did very good job of hiding your angst on the flight home, i must admit.
even though i was across the aisle, i did peek in on you from time to time and you looked cool as a cucumber. I was proud.
And i felt bad for you, sitting next to the lady with the big ass kid in her lap.
Trip home for christmas will be a piece of cake. Trust me.
I don't snore...for very long. I keep having this dream that I am in an oyster bar. What does this mean?
I know that your fear is real, however it is so hard to believe after seeing you drive around the hills and curves of Atlanta like a 737 taxiing down the runway.
I am so sorry that you are terrified of flying. I do have first hand knowledge of terrifying fear(my mom at the wheel of a car), however I am certain that "the counselor" will seek counseling so that she can accompany me to Paris in two years.....
Love you..
Counselor,
I had to fly from Chicago to Denver in first class mind you next to a man whose breath smelled like he had consume the excrement of a dog minutes before. It was so bad that it came out of his nose. It was the foulest thing I have ever experienced. So, the poor unsuspecting flight attendant comes to our row and she takes my drink order first, then she leans in close to doo doo breath and when he goes to give his order she jumps up and turns around. LOL. I swear it took everything in me not to fall out laughing. Oh man, it was sooo funny. So you have to add a section for a person with any kind of personal odor, either breath or body. Maybe they can be Funky Wan Kenobe. LOL
Ms. Denva
You've been TAGGED with the Five Christmas Songs MeMe!
Jabba Jaws are the worst thing about flying...
Post a Comment