Yesterday, like so many other days at the J-O-B, I found myself shooting the breeze in a co-worker’s office after only a few hours of work. As usual, the conversation went from one topic to the next—with very little remorse from any of its participants…
and then I was asked to give my opinion about a situation.
Well, needless to say, that conversation (in addition to Barb’s final comment on my last post) has prompted yet another rambling from the counselor on the topic of Girlfriends.
Over the years, I have grown to appreciate and truly value the significance of having “Girlfriends”. You see, to me, there’s no substitute for having a real girlfriend…
You know…the kind you can share ALL the details of your most embarrassing moments..and laugh—knowing they’ll carry the most horrifying details to their grave.
and then I was asked to give my opinion about a situation.
Well, needless to say, that conversation (in addition to Barb’s final comment on my last post) has prompted yet another rambling from the counselor on the topic of Girlfriends.
Over the years, I have grown to appreciate and truly value the significance of having “Girlfriends”. You see, to me, there’s no substitute for having a real girlfriend…
You know…the kind you can share ALL the details of your most embarrassing moments..and laugh—knowing they’ll carry the most horrifying details to their grave.
The kind that ALWAYS finds something uplifting or comforting to say…regardless of your situation…
The kind that makes you soooooo mad sometimes you could SCREAM……but you refuse to let’m go….because you can’t imagine life without them…
…friends…true girlfriends…
Okay.....here comes the Ramble....
Now that’s all fine and good. But how about my fellow bloggers who have bumped into those “girlfriends” who couldn’t be trusted as far as you could throw them? Or the kind that have been blessed with an inability to keep your (or their) business to themselves…you know the kind…and so does my co-worker...
What do you do when the "girlfriend" of yesterday has grown into someone totally different? When you begin to censor what you share with them and value their opinion less and less? Do you hang on to the relationship--pretending to still be very close? Or, do you let it go and savor all of the fond memories...??
It is for you...that I write this entry. I sincerely believe that people come into our lives for a distinct reason. Some are there for a season; Others are there for a lifetime; But, ALL serve a purpose.
Counselor tip of the day: It is not uncommon to be fearful of change, but often times the change that happens--is the change you need--in order to fulfill your destiny. Don’t stand in the way of your own growth. What is meant to last a lifetime—will-- if you step to the side, humble yourself and embrace the change.
11 comments:
Counselor,
Good question and one that I have asked myself recently. I have realized that relationships will change no matter what, because people change. What we have to learn to do is adapt to that change and as you stated sometimes people who were our closest confidant are now just an aquaintance, which can be due to a plethora of circumstances. I have one bestfriend in the world and we mean the world to each other. She is the only woman I know, that I can tell anything to and not feel judged. She will tell me the truth, but she will not judge me nor will I her. As long as I have her in my life, the other relationships are cool, but not vital. One great bestfriend is worth 2000 friends and acquaintances. And just like the seasons change and we adapt for the weather, we have to adapt and weather our friends. The good the bad and the ugly.
Ms. Denva
I did a post about looking for a lost friend. She and I had been almost inseparable during our childhoods but had lost touch with each other.
I did find her and we talked on the phone for a long time and promised we'd stay in touch.
Unfortunately, we really had nothing in common anymore after some 20 years. Sommtime I guess it's best to let it go.
I'd have to agree with you Ms. Denva...nothing can replace a good girlfriend!
I have one ABSOLUTE best friend. But, I've been fortunate to meet quite a few that come very close. Over the past few years, I've noticed some of those relationships have changed...and,at first, I was upset. Now, I've learned that it's okay to have different friends for different reasons.
Barb,
As you know, I just recently found my brother and sister after about 20 years. Like you, our first conversations were long and exciting. Just like meeting a new friend, I realize that it's going to take time to develop our relationship.
I hope you still continue to have some kind of relationship with your past friend. I think the hardest thing to accept will be that things may never be the same. But just remember that it's okay. She was just what you needed in your childhood--and maybe you can be just what someone else needs in during their adulthood. :)
You already know how I'm feeling right now about certain "friends" who don't pay their rent on time, but I suppose that person's irresponsibility and unreliability is nothing new is it. A good friend is priceless indeed, especially when they have a strong shoulder when you need to lean- however rare that is.
Counselor,
I agree. I have different friends for different reasons and I appreciate them all. I am very lucky to have my bestfriend with whom I can share everything, but there are others that I connect with for different reasons and on different levels. As I am an only child, friends are extremely important to me since they are like surrogate family and I don't call people friend lightly. There has to be a special bond or I will just know that person.
Ms. Denva
Girlfriends are the best when their care and concern for you is genuine. Friendship like any other relationship is a two way street. It's nothing better than knowing that a true friendship can stand the test of distance, personalities, opinions, conflicting schedules and deep secrets. I've been fortunate to have a TRUE girlfriend who is more than a girlfriend, she is a sister. Now, that is a true girlfriend! So to my TRUE girlfriend who I know will read this; I love you and thank you so much for putting up with me for all these years. You truly are the best friend a girl could have, so I thank God for you making you my bestfriend!
You already know how i define certain relationships and those that fall under the term "friend" don't get too much invested. Those types of friends i think you're talking about fall under the "family" category for me and whether it's luck or a blessing i have 2 people that fall under that category as an unconditional, right or wrong always in your corner person.
Friends are gonna come and go....and that's just the way it is.
My best friend??
(I'll give you and paz and moment to give the answer away....)Then I'll come back and answer.
That's right! Me!
And for the record, those two people i was talking about that i refer to as family instead of friends, were the two males, not females.
Just thought i should clear that up due to the harrassment i just received.
It's interesting the varied perspectives; a TRIED&TRUE Girlfriend can't be beat;it is a learned concept;I have "stages" of friendship. I have one friend that I am still very good friends with that dates back to 4th grade; one from 5th grade; another from 9th grade; they are all permanent fixtures in my life;my girlfriend I met in 9th grade taught me a lesson in veracity & fierceness that can define the word friend;as we grow older,I am still in contact with all of them, plus the friends I've met in college;that's another story.But a TRUE-BLUE GIRLFRIEND is like a member of the FAMILY. Love you
continuation on the "Girlfriend" issue: I feel sorry for women who can honestly profess to never having known a TRUE girlfriend;she is a sister: flesh-of-your-flesh, blood-of-your-blood;would die for you, fight for you;if you're cut, she bleeds;her love for you knows no bounds-it is unconditional. These are just a few of my views on the women I consider REAL FRIENDS. Love you Friend, micki
Oh Micki...
You know I'm sensitive...you can't say things like that and expect me not to get mushy inside! :)
Believe it or not, there are many women who haven't been able to experience an honest relationship with someone of the same sex without the drama (i.e. stealing boyfriends, jealousy, sly put-downs, etc.). I'm just glad to know that I am surrounded by loving, intelligent, witty and insightful women...
love you too...friend...
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