forgiveness

For those who know me well, it comes as no surprise that my mind has been on overload lately. With my recent living arrangement, reunion with my estranged brother and sister, and recent change in employment—it seems impossible to be in any other state of mind.

Having said all of that, today’s topic has to do with the subject of “forgiveness”. In my lifetime, I have heard countless people suggest that one should “forgive—but don’t forget”. Until recently, that sounded perfectly logical. But as I try to incorporate that philosophy in my lifestyle, I find that it’s nearly impossible to do.

So, as usual, when “stumped”…I look for answers. Today, I looked to the American Heritage Dictionary to clear things up for me. Guess what? It confused me more! I began my search by defining the concepts in question. Below is a snippet of what I learned:

To forgive means to stop feeling anger for or resentment against.

To forget is to be unable to remember or call to mind.

Now, it seems pretty clear cut—but is it? I can’t think of anything in this lifetime that has pissed me off enough that I was either angered by it or resentful due to it…that I’ve been able to forget. Feelings of anger and resentment are TOO STRONG…to be forgotten. And, if you can’t FORGET what happened…are you capable of truly forgiving?

I mean…for that ex-lover who truly hurt you…. do you ever REALLY forgive him for it? Or, do you remember that pain vividly when you speak of the incident? And, if you can remember the incident vividly…. will you ever be able to forgive what was done to hurt you in the first place?

I’m willing to listen to a variety of opinions, but I must admit…I’m starting think that’s it’s practically impossible to do. Knowing what we know about the human brain, memory, and classical conditioning…it seems to be hard to swallow…or is it…?


Counselor tip of the day: Anger and Resentment are stains on the fabric of life. Once spilled—they are very difficult to remove. And often times, they can ruin your outfit. So remember to always be careful when eating at the table—the stain remover may not work.

I'VE BEEN TAGGED....

Okay....

This is my second time being "tagged". The first time, I made a mess of things. This time...I plan to do it right...

So here goes...

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Checker's Drive-Thru (I made the hamburgers...)
2. Mental Health Assistant at a Psychiatric Hospital (scary and fun)
3. Counselor at a Crisis Center
4. Clinician at a Learning Center (taught people how to read)

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU'D HAD:
1. Stay-At-Home-Girlfriend (SAHG) sounds wonderful!! Great Idea... :)
2. Game Show Host
3. Secret Agent
4. Ford Design Team

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
1. The Color Purple
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Love Jones
4. Stand by Me

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:

1. Chicago
2. Atlanta
3. Norcross
4. Decatur

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The Apprentice
3. Oprah
4. General Hospital

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO:

1. Toronto, Canada
2. San Franscisco, California
3. Washington, D.C.
4. San Juan, Martinique, and Venezuela (sp?)

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:

1. Wachovia Bank
2. Dragon 050376
3. Careerbuilder (shhh don't tell my supervisor!)
4. America Online

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:

1. Lobster
2. Tacos
3. Mashed Potatoes
4. Steak

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT:

1. Cottage Cheese
2. Pigs Feet
3. Bugs (not even for money...refer to previous post)
4. Cereal

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW:

1. A big, fat, juicy, red lobster...
2. uh..with butter sauce
3. and a baked potatoe
4. and steak....medium well...please...

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM:

1. A bed
2. Candles
3. A heater
4. a little red box

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM:

1. More closet space
2. A maid
3. Money under the mattress
4. Boris Kodjoe

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. A black turtleneck sweater
2. Pajama bottoms
3. Fuzzy Socks (they're really cute)
4. A locket

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

1. Chicago
2. Jersey
3. Italy
4. Bahamas

FOUR PEOPLE YOU'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH:

1. My Dad (passed away years ago)
2. Oprah
3. Donald Trump
4. My brother

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW:
1. How early I have to wake up tomorrow
2. "Why doesn't he know how to iron pants?"
3. Why I'm still awake
4. I have homework to do

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS:

1. Talking on the phone
2. Reading
3. Shopping
4. Laughing

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG:

1. Pepper
2. Barb
3. Chitowngirl219
4. Kiyotoe

Whew!!
Counselor tip of the day: Anything worth starting--is worth finishing...Even if it kills you! LOL :)

AWTY?!?

If your childhood was anything like mine, then you can recall at least one road trip that was soooo long that it forced you to ask this question every 15 minutes. Well, I would like to take this time to apologize to my parents (and yours) for all the needless suffering we caused them on an already exhausting trip…

Now, that I’ve gotten that VERY IMPORTANT business out of the way…I will continue with my thoughts…

Anyway, after a long talk with my significant other—it got me to thinking about how often I ask myself this question on a day-to-day basis. In fact, I would dare to say that many of us ask this question in the same irritating way to most situations in our life—every 15 minutes.

Having just turned the big 3-0, I find myself wondering obsessively about where I’m “going” on this road of life. Just like many years ago, I have an idea—but it seems to be taking too long—or is it? I mean, when I think about the road trips I had…I think of all the car games, silly conversations, and (of course) the off-beat moaning (I can't bring myself to call it singing) to Culture Club, Madonna, Patti Labelle, Alexander O’ Neal and Kenny Rogers (…hey don’t laugh…my parents were strange birds…). When I think about the road trips to Washington D.C., Canada, Wisconsin Dells, and everywhere else my dad refused to get directions to—I realize that I learned as much about myself during the ride as I did once we arrived to our destination.

So, for any of you fellow bloggers who may be slightly impatient regarding your annual earnings, your relationship status, the same-ole family issues, or maybe…you’re actually sitting in the backseat of a car—and you find yourself asking a variation of this question…STOP. Please.


Counselor tip of the day: Enjoy the ride—as the road of life seems long and never-ending; but, we all know it isn’t.

bugged out

Okay, as most of you already know, I am a Chicagoan—through and through. Since moving to Georgia 10 years ago, I have made a mental list of all the things Atlanta, Decatur, Norcross, College Park, Riverdale (and every other city I’ve lived) could alter to make home more like “home”.

Prior to a few nights ago, I would have placed the need for food options surpassing the quality of the Waffle House—after 10pm at the top of the list. I might have even requested that a traffic fairy put a spell on all local drivers—giving them the “know-how” to navigate the road without killing us all. But, most important—I would have the word “shawty” removed from the native tongue…forever—again, until a few nights ago.

You see. A few nights ago—I was reminded of that which bothers me the most about Georgia. The trees. Now I know you’re confused—so let me explain. You see, the trees are a symbol of all that ails my heart and soul—“outside”. You see, all my life I’ve been waiting to move to a place with an “outside” that didn’t consist of bugs. As you’ve probably guessed, I have yet to find such a place. Anyway, this “outside” thing pisses me off because EVERY animal, bug, etc. that lives in it—in my humble opinion—wants to be INSIDE. So, I have the pleasure of spending 30% of my lifetime trying to keep things that belong “outside” from coming “inside” my home.

Which leads me to the inspiration of this blog. On one of the most important nights of the week (Thursday @ 9pm…Grey’s Anatomy), I was being held hostage to a GINORMOUS, GARGANTUBIG, LARGEANTIC bug. Normally, I keep spray on hand for these kinds of situations, but on this particular night—my feelings of inadequacy were far too strong. For the first time in my life, I think I felt my heart tremble with fear. After calling several captains, cursing and crying (I’m real ashamed about that one)—FINALLY someone came to save me. I would tell you the rest, but I’m getting scared all over again…

Counselor tip of the day: If you have friends to call on and people that love you—even when you’re being ridiculous, then you’ll always be at home.