NEWSFLASH: I've decided to join the "cult"...I'm a thirteener now!! Every Thursday, I'll post fun facts about myself. They say honesty is the best policy...let's see...

Thirteen Things about The Counselor 1. I lied to get my first job. I was only 15, but I was supposed to be 16. 2. I'm an only child, but I have two sisters and a brother--it's possible people! 3. I'm in a Doctor of Education program and I have a 3.76 GPA. 4. I have a problem keeping my bedroom neat. 5. I misplace things ALL THE TIME! Have you seen my watch?? 6. I get pedicures every two weeks year-round. 7. My teeth are REALLY straight. 8. When I was young, I used to try to breastfeed my cabbage patch kids. 9. I drive a Mustang. 10. I'm REALLY close to my mom. 11. This year will mark the 13th anniversary of meeting The Dragon and Paz. 12. I love scary movies! 13. I can type 50 wds a minute. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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The Proclamation

I haven’t known you all my life, but I wish I had. Since you’ve come into my life, I feel safe and secure. When I’m in trouble, you’re always there to help. When I need to talk, you’re always there to listen. When I’m not sure what to do, you always find a way to entertain me. And, when I’m ready to get “serious” you can handle yourself eloquently on a variety of topics--sports, politics, entertainment, cinema, etc. You are valuable to me. You are attractive both physically and internally--with capabilities beyond what the eye can see.

The holiday season has a way of opening a person's eyes and heart. As a result, each day you’re in my life, more than ever, I wonder how I survived the years before.

At night, I pray that I’ll never lose you. Unlike the men in Beyonce’s life, you’re not replaceable--I hope you feel the same way. It's my prayer that I'll be by your side pushing your buttons, as always, for "as long as we both shall live". You’re all I need and I’d be lost without you.

So, without further ado, I pledge my sincere love for you before both our family and friends.

I love you blackberry pearl….will you marry me??

Counselor tip of the day: The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice!! :)

Nineteen Ninety Four

In 1994, I was an 18-year old virgin (Hi…Mom) preparing for one of the most important transitions of my life. College. While I expected to learn a lot of new things and meet new people, I never suspected that through what seemed to be meaningless encounters would develop one of the strongest support systems I’ve ever known.

This, my faithful bloggaronis [blog-guh-row-nees], is when the dragon and I first met. What seemed to be a chance meeting (while he was supposed to be in another girl’s dorm room) has turned into twelve of the longest years of my life…but I digress…

At the time, we had very distinct circles. His friends were his friends and mine belonged only to me. Yet, over the years, as he and I played our childish games with one another—we began to intermingle in each other’s circle— participating in sort of a “crossing over” of unspoken boundaries. With the emergence of this new trend, I had friends who began feeling comfortable talking to him about private matters—and likewise on my part.

Almost thirteen years later, we have established a bond with each other and our friends—oops “family” that supersedes any legal or biological definition. Much like a plant, our circle continues to grow as we nurture each relationship with what it needs the most— acceptance, patience, understanding, and love. In a very small way, for me, the circle began with four. And now the circle includes—the dragon and I, his brother, his mother, his aunts, his grandmother, his uncle, his father, his sister, both of his best friends from Jersey and their child/boyfriend, paz, his girlfriend, his daughter, his mother, her girlfriend, his brother, his sister and her family, my parents, my grandmother, my aunts, my best friends back at home, and our friendships from college and their families, etc. (I could go on and on…but I don’t want to lose you in the specifics)

The point is that, inadvertently, we have created a family all our own. People whom before 1994 weren't important to us. And now, we couldn't imagine living without. People capable of letting you cry, talk in circles, or sit in silence—and expose the core of your hurt and all your fears…and still give you the safe feeling of a maternal bosom. (don't laugh...I'm being poetic).

I said all of this to say that I truly love all of you. My Chicago family, my Atlanta family, My Jersey family, My Denver family, My Connecticut family,My CAU family and now...our blog family. The late night talks, the arguments, the bowling adventures, the New Year's Eve celebrations, the trips to restaurants, the after-parties, the games, etc. Have always meant a lot to me. And I never really realized how much until I received a phone call from one of those "cross-over" friends from the Dragon's circle a few moments ago.

So, Dragon you're right. So many times, you've tried to point out how many people are affected by "us"...and today...I realize you might be on to something...

Murder was the Case...

This Christmas I received a Blackberry Pearl, some of my favorite perfume (can't tell you--then I'd have to kill you), a "handbag", and a few pictures and picture frames. Just when I thought I had everything a girl could ever want....I went to visit my grandmother. She tried to give me the gift that keeps on giving.....CANCER!!




























During the holidays, I decided to plan out my week so that I could see all of my family members and friends in Chicago. In turn, I went to lunch, ate breakfast on several occassions, played video games, chatted on the phone, and reunited with my brother and sister after 16 years...(it was sooo special). Among my loved ones, was my grandmother (affectionately known to me as Na-Na). Because I love her so dearly, I have made a habit of spending the night with her whenever I come to town. Without fail, there's something to write home about everytime. This time, my friends, you get to hear about it...

My grandmother lives in a building with her peers (nice way of saying old people's palace). Anyway, the apartments are well kept and the building is very nice. In fact, it's comparable to a College Dorm for the Geriatric Population. It's full of people 55 and over doing things that they have NO BUSINESS DOING!! And, like a dare-devil teenager, my grandmother is one of them...behind her doors smoking like a chimney.

AND.....she has a wicked rattling cough...that makes you want to remove her organs on your own (before they just fall out)....

As I struggled to breath in her living room, I wondered, "How could a person continue to do something that they KNOW isn't good for them regardless of the consequences?" The Answer?? ADDICTION. My grandmother was an addict. A nicotine, coffee-drinking, life-time watching addict!!

Then, right before I could past judgement...I thought a little-bit more about the topic of addiction. My goodness...it's a family affair...EVERYONE I KNOW IS ADDICTED TO SOMETHING...

MY MOM: HER DVD-R
MY STEPDAD: ICE-CREAM
AUNT 1: THE RIVER BOAT
AUNT 2: THE TELEPHONE
JUICY (PAZ'S SEED): PIZZA CRUST
PAZ: MIDGETS
MICHELE: CHOCOLATE
DEE: SHOPPING

AND THE BLOG-A-HOLICS.....

STARRING....

THE DRAGON: A.K.A. MY BLOGGARONI
Skittles
Mike
Deslily
Mist1

Jabba Jaws

Growing up, my father (now deceased) had a variety of embarrassing nicknames for me. Among “stinker”, and “hamburger” was the infamous “Jabba Jaws”. Only those close to me know the appropriateness of that last nickname, ...in time some of you will find out it's significance... lol...


Anyway, as most of my readers know, I have quite a few concerns regarding air travel. And, due to the holidays, I was able to add yet another experience to my ongoing list…



Saturday morning was a hectic day for me. As usual, I waited until the wee hours of the morning before preparing for my flight to Chicago.

(side note: people who pack for their flight more than 6 hours prior to their trip are boring—and lack the stamina to handle self-inflicted stress…make that wrong a right and add that to your 2007 to-do-list)

Unfortunately, everything worked out as planned (I say that because I’ll continue procrastinate until I suffer the consequences of my behavior). I packed my luggage and The Dragon took me to the airport. It took me all of five minutes to check my baggage with the skycap and make it through security…. it had been confirmed…“I, not Ali, was the greatest of all time”

Time Check: 8:30 a.m.


I was scheduled to board my flight at 10:45am, but at 11:00 am, there wasn’t an agent to be found. To make a long story short, my flight was delayed to 2:00pm, 4:00pm, and finally 5:30pm. Eventually, I was placed on a flight leaving for Chicago at 5:46pm with a different airline altogether.

So…I know you think this blog is about my HORRIBLE experience with flight delays at the airport for the holidays, but you’re wrong. This blog is about the the adventures of Jabba Jaws at Hartsfield International Airport...

It was amazing. I had a wonderful time with people I didn’t even know. First there was Ann Marie (who was going to Oklahoma to be with her mother) and Annette (going to Dallas). We chatted like three old girlfriends--we talked about men, stereotypes in the black community, actors/actresses that couldn't act, and "relations". It was hilarious!! They kept telling me how funny they thought I was, but really I enjoyed their company twice as much. After they left me to board their flights (which were leaving as scheduled), some would have thought my fun would come to an end. Guess what?? It didn't!!

Jabba Jaws struck again! By 4pm, I had a gang that I bonded with… R.T., Jeff, Maggie, and Connie. We had a wonderful time!! We talked about EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY. We laughed until we cried! We had so much fun that we were almost saddened when we had to board our plane. Was the party over? Nope. Why? We all ended sitting in the same location and rows. We even learned that a couple of us would be on the returning flight together.

It was wonderful. So, wonderful that it got me to thinking. Why doesn't this type of thing happen more often? Are we so busy with our computers, cell phones, and cars that we've eliminated our ability to bond with other people? I had a ball with people I might have never talked to if my flight had left on time. As we laughed and joked, I noticed people who appeared envious of our joy. People who looked like they wanted to share, talk, and participate--but for some reason couldn't do it. Why is that?

So, I write this blog to say that many of us underestimate the importance of humor in our everday lives. I believe that it's NECESSARY in our relationships (i.e. romantic and platonic alike), our family circle, our workplace, etc.
I, especially after Saturday, have learned that humor and laughter can make some of the most trying situations enjoyable.

So, this holiday season…whether you are at home alone, with friends or family, with plenty of money or without…laugh. Find the humor and the joy around you and live life.

Sincerely,

Jabba Jaws

A MUCH NEEDED BREAK

Sorry fellow bloggers,

I'm on a mandatory break right now... If you'd like, please leave your email addresses in my comment section and I'll email you when a new post is available...If not, just check back next week...

Counselor

Christmas Carols

Skittles has tagged me! This MeMe is pretty simple: List (at least) five of your favorite Christmas tunes and tag (at least) five of your favorite blog friends to keep the MeMe going. Simple, huh?

My Favorite Christmas Songs

1. "The Twelve Days of Christmas" (I can really get obnoxious when I'm at five golden rings)
2. "Jingle Bell Rock" ( I can wear out any dance floor to this one...)
3. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (can't wait to see the cartoon this winter)
4. "Do you hear what I hear?" (I always think of Stevie Wonder during this song...don't ask)

and finally...for the grand finale...

I've decided to tag the following bloggers:

Mist1
Paz
The Dragon
Ms. Denva
Mimi

Something Special In the Air…

About four years ago, I had a horrible flight on Delta Airlines. Apparently, the pilot thought it was a great idea to fly over a tornado in Kentucky—and we almost died…literally.

Although I survived the incident, I continue to get very anxious when riding in a plane. Because my ego gets the best of me, I tend not to let it show on the outside—but on the inside—I’m a mess… :(

Which brings me to the point of today’s blog…

I believe that people (in general) can be annoying. Since my last flight, I’ve developed a theory: Annoying behaviors are magnified at higher altitudes.

Personally, I think the stress of wondering if you’ll make it to your destination in one piece is enough to occupy your time; Unfortunately, I have found that there a several “flying types” that drive you crazy enough to contemplate jumping off the plane without using your seat as a floatation device.

I have come up with a few “types” that I’ve identified:

Sneaky Rabbits- You’ve seen them before. They’re the ones who try to put their cell phones on silent—rather than shutting them off. They close the top of their laptops until the flight attendant passes their row…they go in the storage compartments while the
“seat belt” sign is still lit. Ughhhh!!!!

Jabba Jaws- Stevie Wonder can see that you’re sleepy, but this person can’t take the hint. So, with one blood shot eye and a pillow over your head…you listen to why they’re flying to wherever they’re going and what they do for a living; Silently, as you pray for your safety—you pray for all those who will be subject to this passenger’s mouth when they land…God Bless America...

Boss Hog- These people have the middle seat and feel entitled to use both arm rests. This forces one passenger (usually me) to remain smashed against the very window they’re afraid of falling out of throughout the entire flight. Or, it forces the aisle passenger to turn sideways in the aisle—so the flight attendants can run over their toes with those damn drink caddys. SHARE ALREADY!!

I could go on and on, but I realize that I’m on "the edge" from the moment I purchase my tickets online.

Happy Holidays….(one down and one to go!)

Whatcha Know about the Dirty South?

Today’s message is brought to you today by:



Despite the fact that there are no more “Saturday Morning Cartoons”, up until a few moments ago, I would say I was having a pretty good day. And then…. I decided to clean the house…. (* mentally--insert Halloween theme song here*)

Now, being the very busy person that I am, I feel very lucky that the Dragon doesn’t breathe down my back about certain parts of the house looking crazy until I can tidy it up on the weekends…which brings me to the inspiration of this blog…

As most of you know, I took on the challenge of trying to tame this fire-breathing dragon about three months ago. You knew, our parents knew, the mover’s knew….everybody knew….or at least that’s what I thought…

After opening a piece of mail that fell behind a couch (that flew under a chair that was tucked inside the sofa…you get the point) I find a forwarded piece of mail from Bellsouth (my previous phone company) stating that I had a balance of $80.XX due this month. Huh??

So, I had to have a talk with myself: It went something like this:

Me: “Self?”
Self: Yes
Me: Where did THIS come from?
Self: Your guess is as good as mine…
Me: This is a bill for Bellsouth…
Self: I know…
Me: I thought you had that disconnected at the end of August?
Self: I did! You were very serious with me too!!
Me: Self?
Self: yeah…
Me: If you had it disconnected, then how could you still be receiving bills?
Self: I don’t know
Me: Self?
Self: yeah…
Me: How could the bills have new amounts due? Self: I dunno
Me: Self? Do I have to call Bellsouth?
Self: looks like…
Self: I?
Me: yeah..
Self: good luck with that…

So, after going back and forth with myself…I decided to call Bellsouth…and that’s when I met him….

”Jerry” Representative 9376483292lmnop

Obviously, Jerry has taken the company up on their stock options this fiscal year…and is very serious concerning all transactions—after all, it is HIS money.

Anyway, I explained that I placed an order to disconnect the service three months ago and according to a bill that was forwarded to my new address-- it appears that the account was still active…(I thought that was a decent explanation of the events…)

For the next 20 minutes, “Jerry LMNOP” did a dance similar to MC HAMMER ALL OVER MY NERVES!! In a nutshell, I was a liar and I had “just made a payment in September”…In addition, “the system didn’t show that I had the service disconnected”…blah, blah, blah…

I tried to tell Jerry…I didn’t make a payment in September…because I thought the account was closed---like it was supposed to be…but he was STUCK.
He "SAW" a payment and couldn't get past the fact that I didn't make it!!

So…this message goes out to “Jerry Jerk” (his new nickname) Representative 9376483292lmnop


People steal phone service when it hasn't been disconnected
(you might see current activity on your screen)


A payment on a September bill was probably made in August…not September…!!!
(your company does that to show the customer that their payment has been received )

Somehow... (*picture me with a sharp pair of scissors and the cord in my hand*)
Jerry and I were disconnected.

I called back and spoke to a new Representative…

“Mrs. Hickman”

They’re going to forward the bill to my new address and once I fax them the information showing that I vacated my previous address on suchandsuch (that's a real word) date--I’ll be credited. In addition, she has placed the order to disconnect my service "effective immediately"...




Counselor tip of the day: Clean regularly.

Life Lesson 20-06

Okay…


Earlier this summer, I was involved in a major battle with Comcast. Things happened. Words were spoken. And, to make a long story short, I found myself without DSL…

*taking a breath to remember the pain of that moment*

…Anyway, I found myself in a jogging suit and a cute pair of flip-flops going to the library for internet access…I thought I was hopping in my car to retrieve a few “friendship” emails, get a few electronic “hugs”, and at least 3 emails cursing my immediate family and unborn children if I didn’t forward it to 43 people in 2 minutes…(after all, have you really arrived in the email world if you don’t have a few of these each week…LOL?)

Well people…it was soooo much more. Instead of checking email, I was in my car on my way to learn yet another lesson in the game of life…




Now, before I begin, I feel obligated to let you know this blog may be really descriptive because I need to set the scene…so you can TRULY understand my pain…so if you have something to do…. go do it…then come back…so you can give me your full attention…

Here goes…picture it…Sicily 1866…I mean…Atlanta, Georgia 2006…

The parking deck is full—so I’m forced to park under the library on the lower level. It’s daylight…and it’ll only take an hour tops…no big deal….right?

I take the elevator to the third floor and sit down at the computer. But there’s a username and ID required…I’ll just ask the people at the help desk and they’ll give it to me right? No big deal….

The help desk tells me that I have to use the code on my library card and set up a password…but that’s no big deal…I’m at the library…I don’t have my card, but I can go downstairs to the checkout counter and they can look it up right…that can’t be a big deal …can it?

So, I’m at the front desk filling out the paperwork for a new library card—because it was a big deal. I get a new library card and make up a pass code and I’m off to the third floor again…to show those computers what I’m made of…I’m ready to rumble…. right?




I begin walking towards the elevator and I realize that the library is very, very quiet. It’s like everyone disappeared. Well, almost everyone…

As I approached the elevator, there was a man walking in the entrance towards me. He had a bag on his back, but for some reason I was afraid. Only a few seconds passed before I realized that he too…was about to get on the elevator. What is a Counselor to do? The chicken in me told me to wait for the next elevator, but the socially conscious “you can’t be afraid of your own people” voice said…that’s ridiculous…and, needless to say…I got on the elevator.

The elevator opened… and I decided to stand in the front left corner…then the gentleman stepped inside…only…from the smell of him…this was no gentleman. *door closes*As I looked more closely, I notice his backpack was tattered and his clothes were seriously worn…oh…he’s homeless…no big deal…right? He probably has people afraid of him all the time—for no reason…humpfff!! Well not me….everyone can use a hello…after all, he IS human….

So, I pressed my button…looked at the floor indicator…and said it…”Hello” (in the friendliest voice I could muster)…

His response??? “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH …I WILL FUCK YOU UP!!!!”

Wow!!!
(you might need to read that again...it's a true story people... LOL)

Okay…I was REALLY scared at this point. Flip-Flops…not the best shoes for the fight of your life. An elevator…not enough space for the fight of your life…the list goes on and on….


I’ll address the dangers of this situation at a later date…for right now…it’s important that you remember the lesson that we’ve all learned, but ignore everyday….

Counselor tip of the day: Don’t talk to strangers.