CAPTAIN SAVE A ....

The girls and I often go to IHOP for breakfast on Sunday mornings. When I'm not with my IHOP crew, I partake in philosophical debates with my long-time girlfriend from the 3rd Grade. This week's topic was the inspiration I needed to come back to the world of blogging....so here I am....with my over-opinionated ramblings...

Just like we were teens, 80% of our conversation was dominated by the subject of men. As we discussed guys that we dumped for one reason or another...the conversation went in a terribly funny direction..."the girls they end up with"...which led me to a question that I've been asking myself for years....

Why are so many men attracted to the damsel in distress? You know the kind.... she can't pay her bills, her car is always breaking down, a check bounced in her account and now she doesn't have her rent money, she has a stressed relationship with her nuclear family, her baby's daddy is a nut ...she's overly sensitive and seems to have the worse luck on the face of this earth...I could go on and on ....this damsel seems to have one trouble after another--with little hope for pleasant times ahead...until....she meets him---your ex (or current) boyfriend who (before thinking) snaps on his cape and spends all his money and time trying to save her...and they live happily ever after...or do they?

Some would argue that the "damsel in distress" appeals to some men because they give them an opportunity to feel needed and heroic. Others might say that men are socialized to believe that it is their responsibility to take care of women; So, naturally, when one comes along who needs help--they help...almost like one would an elderly lady crossing a busy street. But of course, I think it's something else...so here goes...

The Immaculate Conception

After careful consideration of the factors involved in the development of a CAPTAIN, It has been our experience that those who fall victim to the never-ending misfortune of a damsel usually comes from strong beginnings; Having had a number of strong women role-models, they grow up to love and care for women who are equally strong; Unfortunately, in my opinion, the strong women they have chosen sometimes tend to have qualities that may leave them feeling both useless and average; ....and then a damsel comes along and the opportunity for greatness is available. (yep...that's it...doesn't get any deeper than that)


My friend and I laughed for hours on the phone about various things...but THIS topic brought us aching bellies and silenced hollars with tear drops in the corners of our eyes. Bless the hearts of those men who put on capes thoughtlessly! For me and my good friend know, that when times are hard...the CAPTAIN will need saving...and the damsel won't be capable of doing it....


Counselor tip of the day: Put on your thinking cap before snapping on your cape--and save yourself!

A real quickie

There will be no more Dragon updates....

Apparently, the Dragon fears that they may prevent his blogger friends from keeping in touch with him....

I'm sure he'll be back in no time...and he'll fill you all in on his whereabouts since his last post...

p.s. that post I was talking about might be postponed...I'm kinda sleepy!!

Goodnight! :)

The Counselor

Dear fellow bloggers,

I've been away for a week now...but I'm currently working on a post. Just wanted to let you know... I'm about to spit another one out...be patient...I might post by tonight...and catch up on my reading!!



P.S. Although I don't have a new post, I have provided you with a new update on The Dragon... --------------------------------------->check out his current grade---->





Have a wonderful Saturday,

The Counselor

Thursday Thirteen: Post #3

The Counselor recommends: Thirteen Ways to become a Victim of Road Rage


1. While merging onto the interstate, wait until a fast car is coming by and hop out. You must maintain a speed of 35 at all times.

2. Don't waste time in the morning applying your make-up. It's imperative that you do this in morning traffic. Please don't pay attention if the car in front of you inches up--your lipstick has to be juuuuust right.

3. Remember...anyone who's anybody LOVES to be cut off in traffic--do your part!!

4. Are your children bad as hell? Have you refrained from any form of discipline from the day they were born? Well, wait no longer. Beat the living daylights out of your children in afternoon traffic! It's the latest craze. Don't put off today what you've done all these years! P.s. Don't worry about that green light..it means keep going...

5. Planning ahead is the 8th deadly sin. Take the opportunity at the toll booth to look through your purse, glove box, or pocket for change. To do anything else would be ridiculous.

6. When driving on a two-way highway at night, always drive with your fog lights. The only person who needs to see is you...as long as you can see...you can make sure you don't bump into all the cars that seem to be weaving as they approach your vehicle.

7. If you're in an accident and your car is stuck in the middle of the road. DO NOT PUT ON YOUR HAZZARD LIGHTS!! Dummy!! Then everyone will see you and that'll lessen your chances of being hit again.

8. Never allow what you're doing in your car to alter the speed that you normally drive. That's why they call it "fast food"--you can continue to drive fast--even while you eat your food. And, it's also widely encouraged to "drive-thru" traffic lights and stop signs if they forgot to give you the happy meal you ordered.

9. As a rule of thumb, always remember...People revel in autonomy. To assist the world in becoming better place, you must never buy car insurance. How else can you teach motorists the importance of being financially prepared for "unexpected" expenses?

10. If you follow any of the previous recommendations and someone hits your car, then GET OUT OF YOUR CAR AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE AND CUSS THEM OUT!!! If you're at fault, you have a right to be mad...after all...you're the one with the ticket!!

11. Ignore all signals for changing lanes...these people are violating the principle by which recommendation #5 was built.


12. When approaching an intersection with a 4-way stop sign, pick your favorite car and cross the intersection immediately after that particular car--hint: it's okay to make the first car that moves your favorite.

13. If there are signs indicating a lane is closing in "X" amount of feet, then you are obligated to ride the lane until there is clear evidence that you will die if you continue to go straight. At that point, naturally, you must cut someone off to avoid your own demise.

Isn't Driving Fun??

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Jeanette's Corner
2. Skittles Place
3. Claire
4. Jeff
5. Bug
6. Debo Blue
7. Liz


Wanna Join??
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
Visit the Blog Roll to the Right to View Other TT's!

GO BEARS!!

Okay...Okay....

Normally, football season is a papercut on my hand of life. However, this season...it's been different. This season....unlike so many other seasons....my hips are inclined to do the shuffle I know so well.

This Sunday....we have a chance to shuffle again. Dance our way to the top...

For Lords of The Dance....I give you this as inspiration....accompanied with the empowering words: "Please, baby, baby Please".....

Thursday Thirteen #2

Thirteen Pet Peeves of The Counselor


1. People who push the elevator button after it's already lit. Please stop. It's not coming any faster.

2. People who don't take gum when you offer it. Umm...I'm doing it for a reason.....duh!!

3. People who come in a door while you're trying to walk out---how rude!!

4. Liars: short, tall, fat or small...I hate to say it, but I hate them all...Liars.

5. Quitters. It's such a cop-out.

6. Parents who allow their children to run amuck.

7. Inconsiderate smokers--you know...the ones who light-up in the car w/ the windows up.

8. Sharing food--especially if I offered to buy or bring the person something back and they said "no...I'm not hungry"... JESUS!!!

9. "pssst....psssst.....hey girl.....hey!..... what yo name is??" ...NO!!!!!

10. People who can't sing, but think that they can...it's unbearable!

11. Overly nice people. It's painful to watch. What are you trying to prove? Say "No" already!!

12. Guilt trips. There are soooo many other places I haven't been---no thanks.

13. Slow talkers....I tend to forget why we started talking...then I can't wait until we're finished.


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. crpitt
2. bug
3. Judy
4. going crazy

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

TABOO: THE SEQUEL

After making a recent post, a certain Dragon and I began an in-depth discussion regarding the topic of race. As we tossed different beliefs and observations around, his loyal readers made comments—one by one. After viewing the comments, I noticed that they all fell in one of three categories.


Category 1: Bloggers who shared stories detailing a life event that included
their encounter with someone of the opposite race…

Category 2: Bloggers who avoided the topic completely—by making
“light” comments or cliché observations suggesting that color
doesn’t matter”…

Category 3: Bloggers who confessed to living a former life of intolerance
or disbelief that intolerance existed—until something (e.g. a friend, relocation, relationship, etc.) changed their mind…



In TABOO, The Dragon documents an interaction with another blogger that left him with strong feelings of annoyance. In his journey to capture a new audience, as usual, he left a comment and classically referred to the blogger as “brotha”. To the Dragon’s surprise, he developed an urge to spit fire when the blogger responded to his comment by clarifying his race and stating that he wasn’t “black”. Which brings us to this post…

The Dragon’s point in the post was, whether intentional or not, if Race is the topic of discussion something is ALWAYS said to rub people the wrong way—and I believe that can be proven by reviewing some of the comments left in his post.

As mentioned earlier, each of the comments (mine included) fall into one of the three previously mentioned categories. I believe the reason for that comes down to one specific concept: Social Desirability. You see, few people want to be thought of as a bigot or an overly sensitive minority when discussing Race. So, naturally, when the conversation comes up in “mixed company” (i.e. people of various racial/ethnic groups)—we tend to give socially desirable answers. Not only does it make sense—it’s quite common.

For those whose comments fall in Category 1: Subconsciously, the commenter is saying, “You see, I know people of “X” race and I liked them…so I’m not a bigot/racist/overly sensitive minority”. While this defense is common, it can be seen as a way to separate themselves from others in their racial/ethnic group. Those falling in Category 2: May be more accustomed to participating in superficial conversations on the subject; thus, making them overly cautious when making a comment. This, in turn, leads them to trying to “lighten up” the conversation—or pretend it’s a moot point to discuss. Those who fall in Category 3: can be our teachers. Although these may be people who inadvertently make questionable comments, these are also the people being the most honest with their comments. Their comments, if addressed by the right person (in the right way)—can be used as a catalyst to better understanding between racial groups.

So, the point of this post is simple. Race is a truly a touchy topic. Some of us have the luxury of discussing it when the topic arises in a blog post or break room. Others of us are forced to contend with this touchy topic from the moment they get off the elevator at work…till they return home and park their vehicles in front of their home.

Regardless of how you come across the topic, it’s one well worth exploring honestly.

NEWSFLASH: I've decided to join the "cult"...I'm a thirteener now!! Every Thursday, I'll post fun facts about myself. They say honesty is the best policy...let's see...

Thirteen Things about The Counselor 1. I lied to get my first job. I was only 15, but I was supposed to be 16. 2. I'm an only child, but I have two sisters and a brother--it's possible people! 3. I'm in a Doctor of Education program and I have a 3.76 GPA. 4. I have a problem keeping my bedroom neat. 5. I misplace things ALL THE TIME! Have you seen my watch?? 6. I get pedicures every two weeks year-round. 7. My teeth are REALLY straight. 8. When I was young, I used to try to breastfeed my cabbage patch kids. 9. I drive a Mustang. 10. I'm REALLY close to my mom. 11. This year will mark the 13th anniversary of meeting The Dragon and Paz. 12. I love scary movies! 13. I can type 50 wds a minute. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

The Proclamation

I haven’t known you all my life, but I wish I had. Since you’ve come into my life, I feel safe and secure. When I’m in trouble, you’re always there to help. When I need to talk, you’re always there to listen. When I’m not sure what to do, you always find a way to entertain me. And, when I’m ready to get “serious” you can handle yourself eloquently on a variety of topics--sports, politics, entertainment, cinema, etc. You are valuable to me. You are attractive both physically and internally--with capabilities beyond what the eye can see.

The holiday season has a way of opening a person's eyes and heart. As a result, each day you’re in my life, more than ever, I wonder how I survived the years before.

At night, I pray that I’ll never lose you. Unlike the men in Beyonce’s life, you’re not replaceable--I hope you feel the same way. It's my prayer that I'll be by your side pushing your buttons, as always, for "as long as we both shall live". You’re all I need and I’d be lost without you.

So, without further ado, I pledge my sincere love for you before both our family and friends.

I love you blackberry pearl….will you marry me??

Counselor tip of the day: The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice!! :)

Nineteen Ninety Four

In 1994, I was an 18-year old virgin (Hi…Mom) preparing for one of the most important transitions of my life. College. While I expected to learn a lot of new things and meet new people, I never suspected that through what seemed to be meaningless encounters would develop one of the strongest support systems I’ve ever known.

This, my faithful bloggaronis [blog-guh-row-nees], is when the dragon and I first met. What seemed to be a chance meeting (while he was supposed to be in another girl’s dorm room) has turned into twelve of the longest years of my life…but I digress…

At the time, we had very distinct circles. His friends were his friends and mine belonged only to me. Yet, over the years, as he and I played our childish games with one another—we began to intermingle in each other’s circle— participating in sort of a “crossing over” of unspoken boundaries. With the emergence of this new trend, I had friends who began feeling comfortable talking to him about private matters—and likewise on my part.

Almost thirteen years later, we have established a bond with each other and our friends—oops “family” that supersedes any legal or biological definition. Much like a plant, our circle continues to grow as we nurture each relationship with what it needs the most— acceptance, patience, understanding, and love. In a very small way, for me, the circle began with four. And now the circle includes—the dragon and I, his brother, his mother, his aunts, his grandmother, his uncle, his father, his sister, both of his best friends from Jersey and their child/boyfriend, paz, his girlfriend, his daughter, his mother, her girlfriend, his brother, his sister and her family, my parents, my grandmother, my aunts, my best friends back at home, and our friendships from college and their families, etc. (I could go on and on…but I don’t want to lose you in the specifics)

The point is that, inadvertently, we have created a family all our own. People whom before 1994 weren't important to us. And now, we couldn't imagine living without. People capable of letting you cry, talk in circles, or sit in silence—and expose the core of your hurt and all your fears…and still give you the safe feeling of a maternal bosom. (don't laugh...I'm being poetic).

I said all of this to say that I truly love all of you. My Chicago family, my Atlanta family, My Jersey family, My Denver family, My Connecticut family,My CAU family and now...our blog family. The late night talks, the arguments, the bowling adventures, the New Year's Eve celebrations, the trips to restaurants, the after-parties, the games, etc. Have always meant a lot to me. And I never really realized how much until I received a phone call from one of those "cross-over" friends from the Dragon's circle a few moments ago.

So, Dragon you're right. So many times, you've tried to point out how many people are affected by "us"...and today...I realize you might be on to something...